A trial run with Santa...

I knew I was in for trouble when Josh asked me about 30 times where else he could decorate in the house. I had decided to not feed into his habit but then he declared that he was “letting the neighborhood down” by not putting lights on our fence. So, I wasn’t entirely surprised when he decided that was how he wanted to spend his weekend. I was a little shocked however when I told him that Santa would be in Ashburn and I was taking the boys and he declined to visit his jolly friend. Well, it was too late for me since my father alerted the boys to the Fat Man’s arrival and I was then forced to live up to his promises plus I figured it was a good chance to practice before Santa's arrival in P-Ville the next weekend.

Josh helped the boys and I into the car early on Saturday and I headed off to my parents’ house. I figured that this was only a community-wide event and only clearly we were the only ones to read the Across the Fence this month (that’s an inside reference for the Farms kids) so I was in no rush to head over to see Santa. We took our time getting to the car and moseyed across the parking lot and into the HOA building where St. Nick was awaiting. Only, instead of St. Nick, we were greeted with a line of already disgruntled looking parents. Oops! I forgot that Ashburn is a haven for parents with toddlers and we were all to pay for my tardy arrival. Sensing the impending doom, Eben decided to knock himself out almost immediately.

 

After standing in line for about 15 minutes without moving, I began to worry. Should we have just stayed in? Should I have taken a cue from Josh and skipped the event? What could possibly be taking so long? It turns out, the local, “free” Santa loooooves to chat! He was taking his all-to-important role to heart and decided to divulge life secrets and well wishes to every. single. child. This meant that he took about five minutes (no exaggeration) per child. My dad pointed out that I could go to the mall where they take your picture in about 2.5 seconds. “Merry Christma-.” Click. Next Child. That’ll be $30 for your ONE digital photo with your child’s mouth open. I decided he was right and we would wait it out. After about an hour, Ev got tired and dropped to the floor…

 

My amazing mother decided to take the boys into the room to get a treat (Ev chose broccoli over cookies, much to my surprise)Then, she tried to convince them that even though Mrs. Clause didn’t have a line, she would listen to their wish lists and ensure Santa received them. No dice. And when Eben woke in his car seat, I was sure that I was in for it. But after 10 minutes of tapping his seat with my foot, no eye contact and gentle swaying, he was back in his coma. Ethan was insistent that we wait, and wait, and wait…which is exactly what we did.

After two hours, it was our turn. I asked Ev if he was ready. “No.” He replied. Well too f-in bad, little man! You’re sitting on that stranger man's knee whether you like it or not!! Ethan went first so as to entice his little brother. You can see he was excited at first… 

but three minutes into Santa’s spiel about how he should be a good boy, blah, blah, blah Ethan got bored…

I convinced Ev the only way to get a candy cane was to get in the pic, so, he obliged. And stared those candy canes down…

When we finally got eye contact, Ev decided to keep his finger warm in his nose until Santa decided it would be a good idea to pin it down by his side.

I hadn’t planned on pulling Eben out of his seat (after all, Santa comes to P-Ville this weekend and this was just a dry run) but after our long wait, I thought, what the hell, if he cries I don’t even care. Well, he didn’t cry. But he was more than alarmed when he awoke to a man in a large, red sweat suit…

Out of about 18 pictures, this was the best we could get...

All in all, the boys were troopers. They complained far less than I and I think we learned a valuable lesson for this weekend’s visit: arrive at midnight, start tailgating, bring a folding chair, enjoy the ride!