A trial run with Santa...

I knew I was in for trouble when Josh asked me about 30 times where else he could decorate in the house. I had decided to not feed into his habit but then he declared that he was “letting the neighborhood down” by not putting lights on our fence. So, I wasn’t entirely surprised when he decided that was how he wanted to spend his weekend. I was a little shocked however when I told him that Santa would be in Ashburn and I was taking the boys and he declined to visit his jolly friend. Well, it was too late for me since my father alerted the boys to the Fat Man’s arrival and I was then forced to live up to his promises plus I figured it was a good chance to practice before Santa's arrival in P-Ville the next weekend.

Josh helped the boys and I into the car early on Saturday and I headed off to my parents’ house. I figured that this was only a community-wide event and only clearly we were the only ones to read the Across the Fence this month (that’s an inside reference for the Farms kids) so I was in no rush to head over to see Santa. We took our time getting to the car and moseyed across the parking lot and into the HOA building where St. Nick was awaiting. Only, instead of St. Nick, we were greeted with a line of already disgruntled looking parents. Oops! I forgot that Ashburn is a haven for parents with toddlers and we were all to pay for my tardy arrival. Sensing the impending doom, Eben decided to knock himself out almost immediately.

 

After standing in line for about 15 minutes without moving, I began to worry. Should we have just stayed in? Should I have taken a cue from Josh and skipped the event? What could possibly be taking so long? It turns out, the local, “free” Santa loooooves to chat! He was taking his all-to-important role to heart and decided to divulge life secrets and well wishes to every. single. child. This meant that he took about five minutes (no exaggeration) per child. My dad pointed out that I could go to the mall where they take your picture in about 2.5 seconds. “Merry Christma-.” Click. Next Child. That’ll be $30 for your ONE digital photo with your child’s mouth open. I decided he was right and we would wait it out. After about an hour, Ev got tired and dropped to the floor…

 

My amazing mother decided to take the boys into the room to get a treat (Ev chose broccoli over cookies, much to my surprise)Then, she tried to convince them that even though Mrs. Clause didn’t have a line, she would listen to their wish lists and ensure Santa received them. No dice. And when Eben woke in his car seat, I was sure that I was in for it. But after 10 minutes of tapping his seat with my foot, no eye contact and gentle swaying, he was back in his coma. Ethan was insistent that we wait, and wait, and wait…which is exactly what we did.

After two hours, it was our turn. I asked Ev if he was ready. “No.” He replied. Well too f-in bad, little man! You’re sitting on that stranger man's knee whether you like it or not!! Ethan went first so as to entice his little brother. You can see he was excited at first… 

but three minutes into Santa’s spiel about how he should be a good boy, blah, blah, blah Ethan got bored…

I convinced Ev the only way to get a candy cane was to get in the pic, so, he obliged. And stared those candy canes down…

When we finally got eye contact, Ev decided to keep his finger warm in his nose until Santa decided it would be a good idea to pin it down by his side.

I hadn’t planned on pulling Eben out of his seat (after all, Santa comes to P-Ville this weekend and this was just a dry run) but after our long wait, I thought, what the hell, if he cries I don’t even care. Well, he didn’t cry. But he was more than alarmed when he awoke to a man in a large, red sweat suit…

Out of about 18 pictures, this was the best we could get...

All in all, the boys were troopers. They complained far less than I and I think we learned a valuable lesson for this weekend’s visit: arrive at midnight, start tailgating, bring a folding chair, enjoy the ride!

Taking it to the next level...

In trying to outdo ourselves (and neighbors) from last year, I was trying to brainstorm how we would be able to add new decorations without bursting at the seams. Then, last week, Ethan stated that he would like a Christmas room. I realized that instead of expanding outside the house, we could just build upwards! Each boy would get decorations for his own room. It turns out, it's a bit of a family tradition. When I told my mom, she informed me that as a little girl, she would take a small hatchet out to the woods and chop down her own little tree each year. Well, we decided to take the wussy route and took the short drive to AC Moore, no hatchet necessary! We picked up three small trees, three small wreathes, some ornaments and three little wooden E's. That evening, we wrapped the trees in tinsel and hung the snowmen they had selected. Everett refused to stand for a picture and immediately threw his on the floor in his brother's room, but Ethan was very proud of his tree as seen below...

He's added some additional ornaments, mostly to the same bottom branch and Josh said he caught him sleeping with his hand on the nightstand the other evening as if a miniature Santa would be stopping by to drop off some micro presents, so I guess you could say he's caught the bug.


In addition to the upstairs, Josh has been hard at work on the main level. Both trees made their way up from the basement and it was decided the only way to get all the boxes back to the depths of the storage area would be to empty them. We let Ethan get things started (since he wouldn't stop harassing us about it.) So, after Everett went to bed, Ethan the Elf began decorating...

                            Looks like Santa will need to bring him a step stool for next year.


The next day, as Josh hastily rehung ornaments on the tree before Ethan would notice, I closed all the blinds so as to "keep the crazy inside."I explained that while our close family and friends know we are slightly unhinged this time of year, our neighbors and random passers-by don't need to be let in on the secret. He agreed that no one needed to see the tree since it was a work in progress. Well, that lasted all of eight hours. That evening, while driving through the neighborhood, we passed a house with lights aglow. Josh literally slammed on the brakes and threw the van in reverse to make sure his eyes were not deceiving him. "Aha! We're not the only ones! I'm opening the blinds!!"

Josh allowed us to take a break on Sunday to enjoy the unseasonably warm and un-Christmasy weather. We hit up a couple vineyards in the area and had our family pictures taken by the amazing Jenne Barron of Bright Eyes Photography. That turned into an adventure all its own since Everett had to be bribed with all the candy and goldfish money can buy and the baby decided to fuss only when the family was posing for a photo. I have no doubt Jenne was able to capture some amazing shots (although we made her work for it!) which will result in another goofy Christmas card for all to see (pics to follow once we've all been properly edited and photoshopped to look like presentable human beings.)

So, as of now, we have two fully decorated trees (although, due to our "staging area" I have kept the blinds drawn in our dining room so as to not have Child Protective Services called on the Christmas mess that is living on the floor,) our stockings are hung with care, our bannister is properly garland strewn, and we have a total of about 10 strands of lights around the house.  I'd say we're well on our way...

And away we go!!!

And before you know it, it's that time of year again! That's right folks...Halloween is over and it officially begins Christmas season. Actually, if you've been watching any television or shopping in any stores, you'd realize that the season began about a week before Halloween, so really, we're a bit behind. Josh jokingly said Wednesday night that we'd get decorating this weekend, but I think we both knew that it was no joke. Yesterday the spiderwebs came off the house and the skeletons were put back in the closet this morning. Boxes are being resurrected as we speak and it's beginning to look a lot like...well...almost Christmas (seeing as it's a beautiful sunny day.)

I should mention that I realized that this year would be even bigger back in September. Josh came home with a car full of pumpkins and bales of hay for our front porch. He stocked up on new bright orange Halloween lights and started sending me emails at work of how his "ideal" front porch would look. I could only assume that if he was this excited for Halloween, Christmas was going to blow up. So, this year we're upping the ante. We've got more stressful jobs, a third child, someone is turning 30 and I've decided to fully embrace Josh's obsession of the Yuletide! That's right, look out Mrs Clause...the Shepherds are ready for the holiday season!! Ethan even got in the mood this morning by "cleaning up" some of his toys (placing them six inches closer to the cabinet they are stored in) and telling Josh "Let's get Christmas started!!"

I leave you with a  couple of pictures. The first of our "Halloween porch" (which hasn't been entirely dismantled since I don't want the neighbors to know just how nuts we are about Christmas.) I would like to mention that multiple neighbors complimented our pumpkin carving and one tween even came back with his iPhone to take a picture of our Avengers pumpkin (I was quite the hit with the male 12-15 population!)

The second pic is of our newest addition. No, not Eben, but his stocking! I decided long ago that each of my children would have a completely different stocking for the mantle and here's his...

Welcome to your first Crazy Christmas Eben!!

(You can see how excited he is at this very moment.)

The legend continues...

So, it’s been over a month since my last post and I really planned on letting this thing lag until next Christmas, but I’ve gotten over my lazy spell and thought I’d provide a brief update. January surprisingly flew by (I hate the winter and January is an exceptionally long month.) We had a great New Year’s with our good friends, the Norton family (and some pop-in visits by the neighbors, of course.) Major props to Molly for coming down and watching us all drink even though she was 3 weeks postpartum (I’m assuming the drugs hadn’t sufficiently worn off.) My favorite part of the night was when Tim called Domino’s right before midnight and proceeded to fight with the takeout kid. Here’s what we heard: “Are you open for delivery?” “How about carryout?” “If you don’t have delivery or carryout then why are you open?” “Well, it’s very misleading to answer the phone and not have any pizza.” “I just don’t understand why you would even be there if you’re not making pizza!” “That’s ridiculous! Why are you even answering the phone? I should be able to get pizza!” It continued for about five minutes until his two year old woke up due to the yelling. Classic.

Anyway, even though the holiday season is over, the Shepherds are finding new ways to keep it alive. Josh ordered LED (yes, LED) lights a few weeks after Christmas. To ensure that they weren’t too harsh and “Christmas-y” enough, he polled each neighbor as they came over by plugging them in and burning their retinas, I mean making them stare at the bulbs until he was assured they looked nice. Then, last week, Ethan finally caught on to the holiday season (late as usual) and wanted to watch The Polar Express. Here’s our cuddle time (surprisingly I hadn’t seen all of the movie and was clearly enthralled.)

Little known Lubore fact, my brother played the Conductor in his second grade play. Tom Hanks eat your heart out.

Lastly, I received this text from Josh just today:
“Can we start getting those Thomas kinkade houses that light up as Xmas keepsakes? I like those better than nutcrackers?”

Me: “Are you nuts? Send me the link.”

Josh: “Well, you can only get like one a year. They are on random sites on Amazon. But some are expensive, so only one a year.”

Josh proceeds to send me 9 links of figurines he likes

Me: “Is this something we need to do now?”

Josh: “HAHAHAHAHA...no, of course not....I just wanted to know if you liked my idea”

Me: “They’re a bit pricey…why not just a normal hallmark snow globe?

And here’s the kicker:
Josh: these light up, are hand painted, and seem cozy...those hallmark things seem cold, and like they come off a factory assembly line...no love to them

So as you can see, the fact that it’s February has absolutely no bearing and the Yuletide lives on! I have a feeling 2012 is going to be a crazy one. And yes, we did get that minivan…

...Stop Judging!

A Power Wheelin' Christmas...

We made it! We survived the holiday season! I’m back at work so I’ve decided that the holidays are basically over (womp womp) but Josh is keeping the dream alive and spending the week with the kiddos. I’d say everything went off without a hitch…well, almost…

Josh is a money-maker and a deal-finder. He subscribes to multiple websites that he scours for the perfect deal on anything and everything. So, of course he did much of his Christmas shopping this way. Just when I thought we had finished buying for the boys, Josh told me that he found a Power Wheels Jeep for $50. Knowing how much our friends had spent, it seemed too good to lose. The Jeep arrived while we were out of town and was thrown in the basement for safe keeping. All was well until Ethan and his friends decided to head down the stairs to trash the place. Well, it dawned on Josh that he hadn’t really hidden the present very well, so he threw the kids out of his way and flew down the stairs. You would think he would have just done a better job hiding it or stuck it in the forbidden storage area, but no, Josh stuck it in the spare bedroom and locked the door. That’s right, LOCKED the door. So now it was not only hidden from Ethan but from the rest of us as well. Josh was convinced that he would just straighten a hanger and pop the door open.

Great plan until Christmas Eve rolled around and we needed to get to wrapping. Josh armed himself with a hanger and went to work picking the lock. Well, 007 he is not because he couldn’t quite get in. It turns out that the lock was not a “push button” lock, but one that he had to turn. Those are not easily popped open. By the time I came downstairs 15 minutes later, half the door knob was off, tools were strewn about and Josh was getting a running start to break down the door. I reminded him that it wasn’t one of the children on the other end and that even his love for Christmas wouldn’t break the door down. I told him to call his dad and I would figure it out. Luckily, I am the daughter of an engineer and after using my brain and thinking really hard (and finding a pair of pliers,) I broke in. I finally laid eyes on the Jeep and realized that the reason the car was only $50 was that it was for children up to the age of 4. It was a one- seater and Ethan is almost at capacity. We decided to leave it in the box and send it back.

Well Christmas morning came rather quickly, and after opening all the presents (including every Green Lantern toy ever made, a drum set and, of course, a skeleton mask) there was one giant present left for Everett. What did my lovely in-laws buy? A Power Wheel Kawasaki! And what did Ethan decide to commandeer? A Power Wheel Kawasaki! It became pretty clear that sharing was not going to happen, so at 6 o’clock Christmas night, Josh retreated to the basement to put together the Jeep. Once assembled, I took Ethan out for a late-night drive. Unfortunately, the idea of a steering wheel is a foreign concept to Ethan and instead of actually turning it, he jumped out every two seconds to realign the car by hand. After 10 minutes of this, he quit and the Jeep has made its way back into our living room where Ethan likes to sit in it and yell for help.

All in all, it was a great holiday. The grandparents were way too generous and I have no idea how Christmas 2k11 will ever be topped. But, with all the large, loud, and shooting presents our little guys accrued, I’m ready to lock it all up in the basement.

Here's a photo of my spooky, scary skeleton:

And the aftermath:

I know some people think that now the holidays are over I will have nothing to write about (and they may be right.) But something tells me that the crazy will never fully end...

Merry Christmas Eve!!

We've all but made it to the big day! A few short hours and all the decorating, anticipation and craziness will all be worth it. After a disaster of a trip to DC (we lasted all of 30 minutes and had to turn to come home,) and Josh's splitting migraine, we thought the weekend was going to get the best of us. But after a round of baths and some cookies, the Shepherds are back in the Christmas Spirit! As of now, we've read "T'was the Night Before Christmas," Everett has turned in for the night, Ethan is watching Halloween movies on my iPhone and "It's a Wonderful Life" is cued up. Here are the boys in their jammies:

Eating Santa's cookies:

And of course, a Blunder-ful attempt at a nice photo:

I've already taken more photos this year than I did last year, so I'd call that a success!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Bar Crawlin' for Christmas...

After our crazy late night holiday drunk fest, and an extended Tuesday night Mom’s Night (complete with a guest appearance by Mrs. Peterson)last week flew by in a blur. Fueled by caffeine, I made it through the work week, held it together while my company’s investors visited and kept my cool when the kids were sent home with a stomach bug. I will save the gory details, but thank goodness for my husband’s insane attachment to his iPhone, without which our poor day care providers(the absolutely amazing Lindsays of the Junebug Academy!) would have been stranded on puke island with the Shepherd children.

But, tis the season and in the Shepherd family that means it’s drinkin’ time! One of my absolute favorite holiday traditions since becoming a Shepherd is the annual Christmas bar crawl. It was started many moons ago when Bill and Cheryl would find any excuse to ditch their three whiny children and go boozing for the day. Well, I am happy to say that the tradition continues on! Only now the three whiny children can drink, bring their significant others and I have become the lady with “a baby in a bar.” It’s a tradition in our family but one that is also shared with the closest friends, the Hughes, Goldsmiths and Mr. Chip Moore (others pop in and out but the founders are the true believers.)

Anywho, Josh and I decided to bundle up the Killer E’s and throw them in the car for a quick 4 hour trip to the ‘Noke. Boy, was that a bad idea. A piece of advice for the new mom. When a child has diarrhea, don’t put him in the car for a 4 hour car trip. The question, “can I poop in my pants?” came out a little too often even for my liking. Needless to say, we made it with only one accident, although I was ready to go straight to bed and was pretty sure I was the Bug’s next victim. After a good night’s rest (and the godsend of my in-laws who woke up with my children) I was feeling much better. Ethan seemed to be as well. After some napping, we were off to the bars!

Luckily, we had a babysitter in tow to ensure that the boys were properly entertained. Well, that backfired. Everett kept trying to leave the building and Ethan got really crabby. It reached a pinnacle when I insisted Ethan take a potty break. He refused. I picked him up and basically threw him on the toilet and began berating him until he went. (I should note that Ethan is pretty much potty trained but due to his lack of aim, he does still backward on the commode.) I looked away for just a split second and when I turned back, I saw it. Tongue extended, leaning forward, long swipe. Ethan licked the toilet lid. That was it. I ripped him off the seat, gave him a giant wedgie and took him to his father-in-law to be escorted off the premises. If you know me, I have no fear of germs, but even that was enough to make me want to take a Purell shower. After Ethan’s “A Christmas Story” moment the rest of the evening went off without a hitch. It was complete with Jayme reminding us it was almost time to go at every bar (“Guys, I’m not really feeling it today.” To “We should leave before 6.” To “We need
t’ get home t’ watch Chrissmas movies, so let’s leave by 7.” And
finally “I wanna go t’ Wendy’s an’ eat a ch’ken san’wich. It’s 8.
Let’s go.”)

There were a bunch of cameras going off to properly document the day. Hopefully, some will get posted eventually. But true to form, I was driven and focused on my drinking, so my camera only popped out at the very end of the day. Here's a shot right before we left The Pine Room (not the s-show you would think...)

We returned home the next day with a screaming Everett, a disgruntled Ethan, and a sleighful of presents. With only days to the big event, can we hold it together? Can we keep the children from tearing into all that wrapping paper? Will Ethan finally stop asking for a skeleton mask? And most importantly, will I be driving a mini van?? (insert shocked face here.) dun dun dun...