A Power Wheelin' Christmas...

We made it! We survived the holiday season! I’m back at work so I’ve decided that the holidays are basically over (womp womp) but Josh is keeping the dream alive and spending the week with the kiddos. I’d say everything went off without a hitch…well, almost…

Josh is a money-maker and a deal-finder. He subscribes to multiple websites that he scours for the perfect deal on anything and everything. So, of course he did much of his Christmas shopping this way. Just when I thought we had finished buying for the boys, Josh told me that he found a Power Wheels Jeep for $50. Knowing how much our friends had spent, it seemed too good to lose. The Jeep arrived while we were out of town and was thrown in the basement for safe keeping. All was well until Ethan and his friends decided to head down the stairs to trash the place. Well, it dawned on Josh that he hadn’t really hidden the present very well, so he threw the kids out of his way and flew down the stairs. You would think he would have just done a better job hiding it or stuck it in the forbidden storage area, but no, Josh stuck it in the spare bedroom and locked the door. That’s right, LOCKED the door. So now it was not only hidden from Ethan but from the rest of us as well. Josh was convinced that he would just straighten a hanger and pop the door open.

Great plan until Christmas Eve rolled around and we needed to get to wrapping. Josh armed himself with a hanger and went to work picking the lock. Well, 007 he is not because he couldn’t quite get in. It turns out that the lock was not a “push button” lock, but one that he had to turn. Those are not easily popped open. By the time I came downstairs 15 minutes later, half the door knob was off, tools were strewn about and Josh was getting a running start to break down the door. I reminded him that it wasn’t one of the children on the other end and that even his love for Christmas wouldn’t break the door down. I told him to call his dad and I would figure it out. Luckily, I am the daughter of an engineer and after using my brain and thinking really hard (and finding a pair of pliers,) I broke in. I finally laid eyes on the Jeep and realized that the reason the car was only $50 was that it was for children up to the age of 4. It was a one- seater and Ethan is almost at capacity. We decided to leave it in the box and send it back.

Well Christmas morning came rather quickly, and after opening all the presents (including every Green Lantern toy ever made, a drum set and, of course, a skeleton mask) there was one giant present left for Everett. What did my lovely in-laws buy? A Power Wheel Kawasaki! And what did Ethan decide to commandeer? A Power Wheel Kawasaki! It became pretty clear that sharing was not going to happen, so at 6 o’clock Christmas night, Josh retreated to the basement to put together the Jeep. Once assembled, I took Ethan out for a late-night drive. Unfortunately, the idea of a steering wheel is a foreign concept to Ethan and instead of actually turning it, he jumped out every two seconds to realign the car by hand. After 10 minutes of this, he quit and the Jeep has made its way back into our living room where Ethan likes to sit in it and yell for help.

All in all, it was a great holiday. The grandparents were way too generous and I have no idea how Christmas 2k11 will ever be topped. But, with all the large, loud, and shooting presents our little guys accrued, I’m ready to lock it all up in the basement.

Here's a photo of my spooky, scary skeleton:

And the aftermath:

I know some people think that now the holidays are over I will have nothing to write about (and they may be right.) But something tells me that the crazy will never fully end...

Merry Christmas Eve!!

We've all but made it to the big day! A few short hours and all the decorating, anticipation and craziness will all be worth it. After a disaster of a trip to DC (we lasted all of 30 minutes and had to turn to come home,) and Josh's splitting migraine, we thought the weekend was going to get the best of us. But after a round of baths and some cookies, the Shepherds are back in the Christmas Spirit! As of now, we've read "T'was the Night Before Christmas," Everett has turned in for the night, Ethan is watching Halloween movies on my iPhone and "It's a Wonderful Life" is cued up. Here are the boys in their jammies:

Eating Santa's cookies:

And of course, a Blunder-ful attempt at a nice photo:

I've already taken more photos this year than I did last year, so I'd call that a success!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Bar Crawlin' for Christmas...

After our crazy late night holiday drunk fest, and an extended Tuesday night Mom’s Night (complete with a guest appearance by Mrs. Peterson)last week flew by in a blur. Fueled by caffeine, I made it through the work week, held it together while my company’s investors visited and kept my cool when the kids were sent home with a stomach bug. I will save the gory details, but thank goodness for my husband’s insane attachment to his iPhone, without which our poor day care providers(the absolutely amazing Lindsays of the Junebug Academy!) would have been stranded on puke island with the Shepherd children.

But, tis the season and in the Shepherd family that means it’s drinkin’ time! One of my absolute favorite holiday traditions since becoming a Shepherd is the annual Christmas bar crawl. It was started many moons ago when Bill and Cheryl would find any excuse to ditch their three whiny children and go boozing for the day. Well, I am happy to say that the tradition continues on! Only now the three whiny children can drink, bring their significant others and I have become the lady with “a baby in a bar.” It’s a tradition in our family but one that is also shared with the closest friends, the Hughes, Goldsmiths and Mr. Chip Moore (others pop in and out but the founders are the true believers.)

Anywho, Josh and I decided to bundle up the Killer E’s and throw them in the car for a quick 4 hour trip to the ‘Noke. Boy, was that a bad idea. A piece of advice for the new mom. When a child has diarrhea, don’t put him in the car for a 4 hour car trip. The question, “can I poop in my pants?” came out a little too often even for my liking. Needless to say, we made it with only one accident, although I was ready to go straight to bed and was pretty sure I was the Bug’s next victim. After a good night’s rest (and the godsend of my in-laws who woke up with my children) I was feeling much better. Ethan seemed to be as well. After some napping, we were off to the bars!

Luckily, we had a babysitter in tow to ensure that the boys were properly entertained. Well, that backfired. Everett kept trying to leave the building and Ethan got really crabby. It reached a pinnacle when I insisted Ethan take a potty break. He refused. I picked him up and basically threw him on the toilet and began berating him until he went. (I should note that Ethan is pretty much potty trained but due to his lack of aim, he does still backward on the commode.) I looked away for just a split second and when I turned back, I saw it. Tongue extended, leaning forward, long swipe. Ethan licked the toilet lid. That was it. I ripped him off the seat, gave him a giant wedgie and took him to his father-in-law to be escorted off the premises. If you know me, I have no fear of germs, but even that was enough to make me want to take a Purell shower. After Ethan’s “A Christmas Story” moment the rest of the evening went off without a hitch. It was complete with Jayme reminding us it was almost time to go at every bar (“Guys, I’m not really feeling it today.” To “We should leave before 6.” To “We need
t’ get home t’ watch Chrissmas movies, so let’s leave by 7.” And
finally “I wanna go t’ Wendy’s an’ eat a ch’ken san’wich. It’s 8.
Let’s go.”)

There were a bunch of cameras going off to properly document the day. Hopefully, some will get posted eventually. But true to form, I was driven and focused on my drinking, so my camera only popped out at the very end of the day. Here's a shot right before we left The Pine Room (not the s-show you would think...)

We returned home the next day with a screaming Everett, a disgruntled Ethan, and a sleighful of presents. With only days to the big event, can we hold it together? Can we keep the children from tearing into all that wrapping paper? Will Ethan finally stop asking for a skeleton mask? And most importantly, will I be driving a mini van?? (insert shocked face here.) dun dun dun...

Playing Holiday Catchup...

So, I am very clearly getting a litte behind on this thing. Between hectic days at work and sick children at home, my blog has suffered. Well, I'm back to try to catch things up before the big day. Let's take a step back in time to last weekend. We had our annual holiday party and had spent quite awhile tweaking all of our decorations and finalizing a menu (Josh finalized right up until the minute guests arrived. He's so indecisive.) We had absolutely no food in our house so Josh had to run to the store. It was perfect timing since the Purcellville Christmas Parade was right about to start. It was also Everett's nap time. I refused to miss another piece of holiday Americana due to my child's poor behavior (we missed out on the tree lighting due to one of Ethan's breakdowns.) I told Josh to drive us over and he could shop while we waited curbside. Here is a pic of Ethan ready for the fun to begin...

Everett was a twisting, turning, writhing mess in my arms. He wanted to get down. Run through the mulch. Scoot off the curb. And repeat. After about 15 minutes of agonizing wait time in the cold, the parade begun. The Loudoun Valley Marching Band serenaded us with a lovely holiday tune, "You Can Call Me Al." I don't know about you, but nothing screams Christmas more than Paul Simon (remember that video? I believe Chevy Chase was playing a bongo. Maybe that was just a connection back to Christmas Vacation.) Anywho, the parade was a success. Not too short not too long. The perfect combination of miniature ponies (Lil' Sebastian anyone?) and Clydesdales. I took a pic of almost every little horse that trotted along but only one kind of came out...

Josh finished up his shopping just as the parade was winding down, and who should come walking down the street...Santa Clause! Of course Ethan had to go out and give him a hug, but like a good suspicious child, he turned at the last moment and gave that old man the butt...

All in all, another great Purcellville Parade was in the books. We headed home and put the kids down for a nap in time to clean up the house for our partygoers. The night went off without a hitch. I wish I had some pictures, but as a good hostess normally does, I got super wasted and forgot to get my camera out. We did get to take an awesome midnight ride in Lauren's swagger wagon (driven by David Frohm) who took us on a drive-by tour of the neighborhood. Our parade of one let its presence be known by honking aloud for all to hear (5 honks for the best lit house, one honk for the most pathetic decorations.) We also had some cheesecake to celebrate 29 years of Megan Frohm and Johhny Hawkins. I must admit, there were a lot of great pjs, but Grace and Tom win bragging rights for best pajamas. If you too want to get super cozy and possibly fall down the stairs due to lack of foot grip (right, Grace?) click on the link to find out where you can purchase the most talked about bed clothes of the season.



In my opinion, the party went off without a hitch. Josh was just hungover enough to completely clean the kitchen the next day (it's this weird thing he does.) Our kids were also sufficiently worn out that they blessed us with a 3 hour nap on Sunday. Perfect holiday kickoff weekend and we were in prime spirits for the annual Roanoke Christmas Bar Crawl!

Testing Fate with Santa...

Everyone knows one of the most important holiday traditions is the annual photo with Santa. Well, not in the Lubore house. I was so deathly afraid of anything or anyone in a costume that my parents quickly got tired of my panic attacks and shenanigans. After about the age of 3, my brother was the only one in the photo with the Big Guy. Meanwhile, in God's Country (aka Roanoke,) Cheryl was instilling in her children that this photo was the most important and best present a child could give their parents. So much so, that the tradition continued right up until 2006 where the four Shepherds under the age of 25 are gathered (and possibly hungover?) around Santa. It was after that horrible photo that Josh insisted the tradition end and never again allowed his face to be put on film. Well, lucky for Cheryl, we decided to procreate soon after and the tradition started again! Unfortunately, Ethan had the same affliction for dramatics as his mother and threw such a scene as a toddler that I had abandoned hope we'd ever get a photo. This year we decided to give it another try. Ethan has become a whole lot more adventurous and Everett will smile at just about anything, so I figured it would be perfect.

Well, almost. Josh bought a cut the line pass since we learned our lesson the hard way last year. Flashback to 2010, we stood at a standstill with a rambunctious 2 year-old and a screaming 5 month old only to watch the line next to us fly by. After 30 minutes of not moving I abandoned all hope and assumed that this was a sign that pictures are not "our thing." As most parents of little ones, we're constantly learning so it seemed that the cut the line pass, coupled with the fact we're early risers, would result in a quick and easy photo. As Josh said, "this shouldn't take more than 15 minutes. In and out." That was only partially true. There was only a short line for us "cutters" but we still had a good 20 minute wait. Ethan was so excited. Josh had coached him on what to say and what he should ask for. Here we are a couple minutes in...

The scene quickly deteriorated from there. Everett isn't much of a "stroller guy" so he needed to get out immediately. I don't carry my diaper bag much anymore and didn't really have anything to entertain him. Then, in a total amateur move, I didn't bring any food. Guess who did? The lady in front of us who was doling out yogurt bites like they were infused with crack. Everett lost it. He was lunging and screaming and carrying on in such a manner that I almost ran out. But then I realized we had already spent money on the pictures (hence the cheater pass) and there was no turning back (clever sales trick.) We crept forward in line and watched a few other melt downs until it was finally our turn. I had Everett in some weird sort of half Nelson by this point and was so relieved to reach the front of the line, that is, until the woman in charge informed me that she needed to let someone from the "regular" line go. Oh, by all means! Let that sweet, quiet, polite 6 year-old in front of us. Clearly, you enjoy the screams of a one year old and don't want to let us leave. We waited for the photographer to change printer paper. Then, we waited while Santa stretched his legs (he is getting up there in years you know.) Everett was still thrashing in my arms until he saw that big red suit. I'm not sure if the halo of light shining down was coming from the skylight or was really a ray of hope, but Everett actually stopped his fit long enough to catch a glimpse. I thought we had made it. We would hold it together long enough to get this pic and run. Well, as they say, a picture says a thousand words...

That's right. We paid $22 or two 5 x 7's of this:

Three quick clicks later and I rescued Santa from my child. While I consoled Everett and chose which screaming pose was my favorite, Ethan finally had a chance to chat up the big guy. "I've been good and I would like a scary skeleton mask." Yep, after all that, Ethan asks for a Halloween costume. Luckily, Santa has incredible foresight and already ordered it on Cyber Monday with free shipping. I was scooped up by Megan to take on Toys R Us and Josh stuffed the kids with grease from the food court and threw them in the car. Apparently, the whole ordeal took a lot out of them:

Those of you lucky enough to be on our mailing list will receive the official Santa photo in a few weeks (aka our Christmas card.) Believe me when I say, it gets better...

Next up...The Annual Shepherd Christmas Party (pajama style!)

A little holiday confusion...

Before I jump into our visit with Santa, I have to give a big thank you to my dear friend Ms. Perfectly Imperfect herself, Meagan Hawkins. I received a text on Friday that she had found the perfect shirt for Ethan. I assumed that she had bought yet another superhero shirt, but thought it very sweet nonetheless. Boy, was I wrong. It was literally the perfect "Ethan" shirt. A little too perfect (I'm beginning to think that GAP has our house bugged for marketing purposes.) You see, we spent so much time hyping up Halloween for Ethan that he's had a bit of trouble letting it go. He watches videos of Monster Mash on my iPhone. He plays with skeleton toys. He randomly walks around the house yelling "It's Halloween time!" Well, imagine my surprise when Meagan shows up with this most perfect gem:

A skeleton/Christmas shirt! He was over the moon. He continually confirmed Meagan's generosity over the next two days by saying, "Miss Meagan gave me this shirt??" Now, I just have to wait another month until the rest of their stock goes on clearance because, let's face it, I'm sure every other mom in America is in Gap saying "what weirdo buys her kids skeleton clothing?" This guy!

A craft realized...

I've been planning various holiday crafts for the past couple of months, but once I went back to work those plans quickly fell by the wayside. It wasn't until we were "done" decorating that I realized I had three wreaths left over. They were used on our windows last year but Josh decided if we have a bigger house, we need bigger wreaths (nevermind the fact that while the house may be larger, the windows are the same size.) Nonetheless, I couldn't let them go to waste. I hung them on various doors around the house and forgot about them for a couple weeks. Well, today I finally got the itch to craft with some help from the "Crafting Queen" herself, Megan Frohm. After a trip to Toys R Us, we hit up Michael's where I was able to stock up on extra ornaments and embellishments. Here is the before:

So some strategic placement, creative thinking and a layer of glitter dust later, the wreaths were properly "Shepherd-ized."

The best part about these wreaths? Nothing is permanently tied on. Each year we change things up so all of the decorations are strategically wrapped with wire or twine (or just securely jammed in) to make for easy break down and build up next year. Unfortunately, I told Josh what a great deal I got on the ornaments ($1.99 for five large ornaments? What a steal!) I have this funny feeling I will be sent on a mission tomorrow to procure more to add some extra oomph to the tree...